Daring Fireball’s John Gruber incinerates Bloomberg for suggesting as much.
John Gruber, the dean of Apple bloggers, stopped tweeting about Trump long enough Wednesday to post one of the full-throated rants that made him an internet celebrity.
“I cannot believe,” he begins, “that Bloomberg published this story by Alex Webb and Alex Sherman, “Apple Struggles to Make Big Deals, Hampering Strategy Shifts”. The entire story consists of quotes from investment bankers arguing that Apple should hire investment bankers to make more large acquisitions. Really, that’s it.”
What follows is a paragraph-by-paragraph dismemberment that reaches its climax around the 12th graph:
Bloomberg: To reach its $50 billion target, the company must find an extra $13 billion in services revenue over the next four years — beyond what it can generate itself. Netflix Inc. ended 2016 with sales of less than $9 billion, so even buying that business may not be enough, the analyst said.
Gruber: Even a $75 billion purchase of Netflix may not be enough. Who said that with a straight face? These fuckers wouldn’t be satisfied unless Apple drunkenly spent every goddamn penny of their cash.
In Webb and Sherman’s defense, I learned a few things from their reporting. Take, for example, this paragraph about Apple’s acquisition process:
Apple’s deals team is composed of about a dozen people under former Goldman Sachs banker Adrian Perica, and most acquisitions take place at the behest of the company’s engineers. Product managers usually meet every month with Perica’s team members to identify targets with attractive technology or talented engineers, according to a person familiar with the process.
Most acquisitions take place at the behest of the company’s engineers? That would explain a lot.
For a list of Apple’s mergers and acquisitions, click here.